Along a Knife's Edge
by Dante Andy Anderson
Summary: Rachel has given up - no cares about her anyway. And as she tries to reason with the voice in her head, she realises that it's about time she lets it all go. No one will cry over her anyway. TWO-SHOT.
1. Chapter 1

**GLEE - ALONG A KNIFE'S EDGE**

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing except this Storyline and plot. Glee (TV Series), Goodbye - I'm Sorry (Jamestown Story song), Glee Fan Trailers on Youtube, All Music mentioned all belong to their respective labels and what not.

 **Rating** : M

 **Warning** : Scenes of Bullying, Violence, Suicide Attempt, Depression, and Language. Do Not Read if you're easily offended. **TRIGGERS: Please,** if anything in this story will **trigger you,** please do NOT read it. It is rather dark.

 **Genre** : Drama, Angst

 **Era** : AU WMHS

 **Notes** : This will be a Two-Shot. I had this stuck in my head and felt the need to write it out as I'm in between my other stories and trying to finish them.  
Some things in Season One and Two happened but NOT everything.

* * *

It wasn't like loneliness was a foreign thing to one Rachel Barbra Berry, no, it wasn't a foreign thing at all. But it still hurt.

It hurt that no matter what she tried she was belittled, it hurt that even if she was pulling back from singing in Glee, people in the club still treated her like crap. It hurt that those she thought of as friends left her all alone especially when she needed someone.

It hurt, everything just hurts.

It hurt so much that she began to spiral into depression, the demon voice in her head telling her that no matter what she did she'd always be a reject, that no matter what she did she'd always be alone, that no matter what she tried no one would ever love her because let's face it, what was there to love?

Her fathers were away again as they always were, in fact Rachel hadn't seen them in months. She had hoped that this year they'd be back for her birthday this year but it looked like they'd miss out on her birthday again.

'It's okay,' she had thought to herself, 'It's not like I've never been alone before,'

School wasn't any much better, she was always alone there. Picked on, made fun of, slushied. Even the Glee Club made fun of her. Mr Schuester didn't seem interested in helping her either as he was always silent on that front. God forbid though if she stuck up for herself and argued back against anyone then, THEN it was her being a bully or a bitch or a self centred diva. Even now as she had drawn back and swayed in the background she was still accused of being self centred and a diva.

Rachel was starting to give up.

'What is the point of staying alive anyway?' the demon voice would say in her head, 'No one notices and no one cares, it's not like anyone would miss you if you were gone,'

The bitterness and anger in her life had lead her to the knife. But Rachel was smart, oh yes, was she smart. At least in her opinion. She wasn't going to cut in places where people could see, like her wrists, she'd do it in places where no one would ever see because who would ever want to see her with nothing on. So she cut, she cut on her shoulders and she'd cut on her stomach. And as she bled a bit and felt the blood slowly trickle out of her body she felt a bit better.

"God, what the hell is going on with you Yentl?" Santana had growled at her one day during Glee, "You think that just because you're giving up solos and all that shit that we're actually going to pay attention to you and want to be your friend? Well think again,"

Rachel didn't say anything as she looked at the floor.

"Hey, she's talking to you, you should answer when spoken to," Quinn said though there was a lack of bite in it, not that anyone really noticed.

Still Rachel said nothing.

"Well, at least you're listening to us and shutting your useless trap," Mercedes said as almost everyone nodded their heads at that.

Rachel just sighed internally as the voice said to her again, 'I told you that no one cares that you're trying,'

"You think you'd also listen to us when we told you to buy NEW clothes that don't make you look like a giant toddler or as Santana once said, like one of the bait girls on 'To Catch A Predator'," Kurt added.

Still Rachel said nothing, the floor seemed far too interesting to her at this point in time.

"Oi, Berry," Puck said as he threw some scrunched up paper at her to try and get her attention.

And even though Rachel felt the paper hit her in the face causing everyone to laugh at her, she still said nothing. There was nothing left to say.

"Rachel, can you please stop being a drama queen and start being a team player?" Mr Schuester said in annoyance, "You have contributed nothing at all in recent Glee lessons,"

Rachel didn't bother looking up and she didn't bother saying anything. All she could think of right now was how much she needed that knife edge to run across her skin.

"You know if you don't contribute then there's no point in you being in the club," Mr Schuester started only to be cut off by the most unlikely person.

"Well that's a bit crap," Quinn said.

"Quinn?"

"No one else contributes either, hell when was the last time any of us really contributed anything, at least Berry tried until you shut her out,"

"I do not..."

"Uh, yeah, you do, when she suggested that we do originals you only went with it because everyone else said yes, when we needed a set list she was the only one to anything, it's supposed to be you doing it, Mercedes has never contributed any songs, nor have I, or Finn and he's supposed to be co-captain,"

Finn squirmed a bit, he didn't like the idea of having to do any thinking at all.

"Quinn, you will not speak to me like that, now Rachel needs to contribute," Mr Schuester said.

Quinn felt anger course through her veins at that dismissal and Rachel, well, Rachel was slightly surprised at that. But she didn't show it.

As Glee ended and everyone filed out Rachel just sat there and played with her fingers, thinking. She'd be seventeen tomorrow, but then again what would that matter, no one wanted her around anyway and no one cared.

She sighed as she got up and hummed a song to herself as she walked through what she thought were empty halls, unaware that someone was following her and listening to her.

 _"I'm sorry, but this is my fate,_

 _Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay_

 _And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long,_

 _So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me,_

 _I'm not worth any tears,"_ she sung quietly to herself and even though she sung the lyrics out of order, for once she didn't care, _"Time has run out for me,_

everything's distant and I don't know what to believe

 _It's so hard, lost in the world's confusion and I need to leave for awhile,_

 _Life is so meaningless_

 _There is nothing worth a smile,"_

The figure behind her had paused as they watched Rachel put her hands to her head, almost as if the brunette was trying to cast something out.

"Please leave me alone, someone wants me, someone will want me," she muttered to herself, "I'm not alone, I'm...I, I do have someone, I do, I just have to find them,"

'But you're wrong,' the voice had said in her head, 'If no one could see your pain when your mother rejected you, what makes you think they'd see anything now?'

"I...," Rachel said as she paused close to the school doors before turning to the auditorium and walking onto the stage. Still unaware that someone was still following her.

'The stage, oh isn't it grand? But what does it matter, you're not going to be a star, if you can't even be liked in High School, what makes you think anyone would like you in the real world?' the voice asked.

Rachel had tears fall down her face at that, "One more day, give me one more day,"

'Why? Because it's your birthday?' the voice asked.

"Yes, maybe, just maybe it'll be different tomorrow,"

'You know it won't be, you should start saying goodbye,'

Rachel looked up at the empty chairs of the auditorium, she tried to imagine that there'd be people sat there but all she could see now were empty chairs, nothing but empty chairs to show her how alone in the world she really was as she began to sing part of the song,

 _"Time has run out for me, everything's distant and I don't know what to believe_

 _It's so hard, lost in the world's confusion and I need to leave for awhile,_

 _Life is so meaningless_

 _There is nothing worth a smile,_

 _I'm sorry, but this is my fate,_

 _Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay_

 _And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long,_

 _So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me,_

 _I'm not worth any tears,"_

'Are you seeing it now? How no one wants you? Your fathers are never around anymore, it's going on a few years now isn't it? School peers, again, no one wants you, the clubs only put up with you for their numbers sake, hell, you're not even the voice anymore in Glee, what exactly are you doing here? I mean your mother didn't want you, no one wants you, you really need to stop trying, die, disappear...no one...,' the voice started.

"...no one would notice anyway," Rachel finished in a tearful sigh as she wiped them and nodded her head to herself, "One more day, it will be different tomorrow,"

'If you say so,' the voice said to her.

* * *

But the next day wasn't any different. The first thing Rachel was greeted with was a slushy to her face, two actually, and just as she thought it was done for now, someone shoved her into her locker making her fall to the ground as another slushy was dumped on her head.

"LOSER!" someone yelled as everyone laughed, "Courtesy of Glee Club,"

"Wait, wait, here's another one," Karofsky laughed as he dumped another slushy on her head, "From the Jocks, oh, and Finn really wanted you to have this one,"

Another slushy, where the hell were all these slushies coming from?

"C'mon man, she's down, let her go," Puck started.

"You sticking up for her now?"

"No, but she's down man, this is pretty shitty even for us, beating on a GIRL who's down,"

"Whatever," Karofsky said as he walked off.

"Wow, rainbow looks good on you," Santana sneered as she spat at the brunette.

Brittany wasn't sure what to do, she couldn't quite voice what she wanted at that time so she said the first thing that popped into her head, though looking back she did cringe at it, "Rainbow is a pretty colour, I like Rainbows,"

And as everyone walked away from her Rachel felt the tears coming, but she didn't let them fall. She needed the knife, she needed it now, but she had left it at home. What was she to do? Perhaps she could open up a couple of the wounds and let it tear a bit more. That would work right?

Rachel sniffed as the bell rang. She picked herself up as she grabbed her slushy kit and went to the bathroom.

As she finished cleaning herself up she tugged and pulled at some of the skin on her stomach hoping to make it bleed, it did and she felt relieve wash over her as it did before she cleaned herself up as she sang quietly again,

 _"It's been the years of abuse,_

 _Neglected to treat the disorder that controls my youth for so long,_

 _I'm in a fleshy tomb buried up above the ground_

 _It's no use, why should I hold on?_

 _It's been five years, don't need one more_

 _So goodbye, life's abuse,"_ Rachel sang to herself before saying, "You were right,"

'I'm always right,' the voice said back to her.

"If this is what life is like now, what is the point?" Rachel sobbed as she collapsed on the floor and cried.

'There is none,'

"What should I do?"

'Die,'

"When?"

'Whenever, why prolong your suffering here? And hey, if Hell is real, what difference does it make? You're worthless anyway, God would never want you, no one ever wants you, the Devil will just have fun hurting you,'

Rachel pulled her legs up to her chest as she cried.

And then she said to herself, "But Quinn seemed to care, yesterday she seemed to care, right?"

'And? That was one instance, who knows what goes on in that blonde head of hers, she probably wants to hurt you,' the voice countered.

"But it didn't sound like it,"

'You're just saying that because you like her and are desperate for her to like you back that you THINK she was doing it for you, but you know it's not true,'

"But maybe,"

'Don't, don't do this to yourself, why add this suffering too? You know that that's why Finn is even madder at you and spread rumours about you, it's not just because you tried to get back at him for lying with Puck, it's because he knows you like someone else, lucky for you he doesn't realise it's Fabray or you'd be in an even bigger world of hurt when she finds out,'

"I,"

'Give up little Rachel, it's time to give up, you know it's true,'

"But I need more time, the day's not done,"

'If you wish, but you know I'm right, no one loves you and no one cares,'

-page break-

"The hell is Yentl?" Santana asked in class as everyone was settling down.

"She's really hurt," Brittany started.

"Oh please she'll bounce back, it's not like it's the first time this has happened to her,"

"What happened this morning? All I heard were rumours and stuff like that," Quinn asked as she looked at the Latina. She had been in Coach Sue's office talking about the Cheer Routine for the upcoming National Championship that she wasn't there when everything happened.

"Oh get this Q, it's so funny and it's a pity you weren't there, the jocks slushied her, said it was from Glee, the Jocks, OH, and especially Finn,"

"And then Sanny spat at her," Brittany said somewhat sadly, "After Tracy pushed her into the locker and watched her fall down, and then someone else poured another slushy on her head,"

"Why would you do that?" Quinn asked glaring at the Latina.

"Because it's funny, it's not like she'll give a damn anyway, she always bounces back," Santana said her hands held up.

"It's not funny anymore Santana, it's pathetic," Quinn gritted out at her.

"The hell crawled up your ass and died?"

"You have to stop it,"

"And who's going to make me? You?"

"If I have to,"

"Bring it,"

"Guys, stop it," Brittany said as the two stopped and carried on with their class work.

"It's not funny anymore Santana," Quinn gritted through her.

But before the Latina could say anything the teacher had walked in and nothing else could be said.

-page break-

In Glee Rachel never showed in the end. Puck frowned, Quinn was worried, and Brittany was left wondering why.

When Mr Schuester showed up and still no Rachel, Quinn felt her heart race. What she heard yesterday in the auditorium scared her, she had never heard Rachel sing something like that before and the brunette never sung anything without reason.

"So, Nationals today," Mr Schuester said as he clapped his hands together, "The main solo is going to Rachel,"

"Hell to the NO," Mercedes started, "If that half pint can't even show up to Glee Club she shouldn't get it at all,"

"Oh, I thought she was here," Mr Schuester said as he surveyed the class only to see that the brunette wasn't there.

"It's not like she sings anymore anyway, we don't need her," Santana said as a couple of people agreed.

"Well, " Mr Schuester started.

"Are we going to sing for her?" Brittany asked suddenly making everyone look at her and wonder why she asked that out of the blue.

"Why?" Santana asked.

"Because she's really, really, sad, she's been sad for a very long time, but no one would listen to me," Brittany answered, "And today's her birthday, are we going to sing for her birthday?"

"Birthday?" Puck gaped as he ran his hand through his Mohawk and berated himself for forgetting. Birthday's were always a big deal for Rachel as far as he remembered but he realised that in recent years she had stopped bothering with telling anyone that her birthday was coming up.

"Who gives a shit if it's her birthday?" Santana asked.

"I don't," Mercedes said, "Hell, I was her Secret Santa this year and I didn't bother getting her anything,"

"To be fair you're not the only one who wouldn't have," Artie said.

"Neither, how'd you know it was her birthday today anyway?" Kurt asked Brittany.

"She told us a couple of years ago about her birthday party but no one went," Brittany said, "That made her sad,"

"Who the hell would want to celebrate another year of her being alive?" Santana grumbled, "No one cares about her anyway,"

"That is true, did you know her Mom just left her?" Finn added, outing the one thing Rachel didn't want anyone else to know about.

"What?!" Quinn said sharply as she looked at him in shock.

"Yeah, she told me before we broke up and stuff, she didn't want me to tell anyone but I figured it doesn't matter now right, I mean Shelby just like left her and told her that she was her mother but not her Mom,"

"Oh my god," Quinn said as she turned back and gazed at the board trying to focus herself.

"See, even her Mom didn't want her," Santana started.

"Or her Dads, they're like away a lot," Finn finished.

"Dude, not cool," Puck said to him.

"What?"

"If Berry asked you to not talk about this shit then you shouldn't dude, not cool, it's like the time when you outed Santana this isn't cool,"

"Oh who cares?" Santana asked rhetorically, "No one here cares, I don't think Schue cares since he's kept his trap quiet the entire time,"

"Santana," Mr Schuester started.

"What? Does anyone actually care that she's not here?"

Most of the Glee kids shook their heads as Santana looked at Quinn.

"Q?" Santana started.

"I gotta go," Quinn started as she picked up the pieces.

"Quinn, get back here," Mr Schuester started.

"Oh FUCK OFF," Quinn yelled making him pause at her, "Rachel is NOT okay, she's not, I heard her singing about dying yesterday and I said nothing, I heard her talking to herself about having one more day, I heard her tell herself that no one would notice, and now I figured out what she means,"

"Be that as it may, you still can't talk to me like that,"

"I sure as hell can, you're a lousy teacher with double standards, the fuck she ever do to you but try and help this pathetic little family get better? HUH? Or the elves in your ears filter that out?"

"You'll join me in detention Quinn,"

"No, I won't, goodbye, I'm going to find Rachel,"

As Quinn left the room Artie was the first to speak up, "She seem very out of character to anyone? And did she just call Rachel, Rachel?"

"Yeah, she did," Brittany said as she got up.

"Where you going B?" Santana asked.

"I'm going to help Q find Rachel,"

And with that Brittany too left the room.

-page break-

Rachel had heard them as she had slowly trudged to the Glee room, she had heard them say they didn't care. So she left.

She hummed 'Happy Birthday' to herself as she moved slowly down the hallway.

'So this is my goodbye, no one would cry over me, I'm not worth any tears,' the voice sung in her head.

Rachel never heard Quinn blowing up at Mr Schuester, she never heard the blonde frantically try to find her in the school.

Rachel was just on auto-pilot, she was going home, and she was going to die.

As she drove her car and parked in the empty looking house, Rachel walked into the house and put her things away. She did what she did best, she wrote a note for her fathers to find and she made a video to post to her Social Media pages.

After it was done, Rachel went to have a bath before she donned on her best dress.

She went down to the kitchen and grabbed her best friend, her knife. She let her fingers run along the edge and watched as they bled a bit.

"I'm leaving, so goodbye my friend, at least you were always there for me," Rachel said quietly as she ran the knife up her arm, hissing in pain as she felt the cut go deep.

She barely could do her other arm as felt the blood loss really hit her.

But when she was done she dropped the bloodied knife on the ground and collapsed onto her knees.

"NO!" a voice screamed, but the voice was fading away.

She thought she heard someone break down her front door.

"Private, private property," she gasped as her vision started to turn black.

"Please don't do this to me, please, I'm sorry, please," the soft yet husky voice pleaded with her.

"I'm calling the ambulance Q," another soft voice said.

'Q? Quinn?' was the last thing Rachel thought of as she gave in to the darkness.

* * *

 **AN:** The next chapter is coming very shortly as at first I was going to do this as a one-shot but it was a bit too long. So it's now a TWO-Shot.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Part Two of Along a Knife's Edge.  
Also, thank you to the person who pointed out that somehow Rachel didn't show up in the story filter. I swear I had put her in, along with Quinn. It's mighty strange, but I have fixed that now. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the second part of this story - will be LONG and it has more dialogue than the prior one.

* * *

If someone were to ask Lucy Quinn Fabray what she'd remember from her senior at High School, you'd hope to hear the words, 'Oh, I won Prom Queen,'. What you'd never thought you'd hear was her say, 'I had to sit for hours in the waiting room with blood on my hands as a girl I knew was fighting for her life, and it was my fault,'

And yet here she was. Lucy Quinn Fabray found herself sitting in the waiting room at the hospital as she waited for news of Rachel. Brittany was sat with her as well as she was looking through her phone, waiting for the doctor to come out.

"Q, she posted something before she tried to kill herself," Brittany said as she showed Quinn the video that Rachel had posted.

 _"If anyone is watching this, then I'm probably dead, but that's a good thing I think, no one cares anyway so I guess you can use this as a victory video, the mass against one pathetic little girl who just couldn't cut it in High School, that's okay, I give up anyway, I'm really sorry everyone, especially to Glee Club, Daddy, Dad, Mo...Shelby, Schue, I just wanted to be loved, I wanted to mean something to someone, but no matter what I tried I realised that I just don't matter to anyone, I wanted to be part of something special, but I guess there was no point, so this is my goodbye, I guess this is my fate after all, I know none of you will cry over me because I know I'm not worth anyone's tears, I, right, sorry, I'm staying alive too long, I see that now, I have been alive for too long, did you know today was my birthday? I was hoping someone would remember it and that it'd be a bit better this year, but as I look around I realised that I am alone as always, I don't have anyone, no one, I realised that I am not important to anyone, I am not loved and I never will be,"_

Rachel had looked defeated as she had gotten up from her chair to switch off the camera.

Quinn felt tears fall from her face as the video abruptly ended, "Oh my god," Quinn cried as she was about to put her hands on her face.

"Q, wait, you need to clean your hands, there's blood on it," Brittany said.

"There'll always be blood on them,"

Brittany had to pause and take a moment to figure out what she meant by that, "I know, but Q you need to clean your hands, there's blood on your uniform too, maybe we can find someone to give you new clothes,"

"My Mom, I need to tell my Mom,"

"I'll call both of our mothers, okay, go clean your hands, I'll be here," Brittany said softly as she patted Quinn's back supportingly.

Quinn did as she was told as she went to the bathroom and cleaned her hands, scrubbing them. But no matter how much she washed them she knew that she'd forever see blood on them.

'She's dying because of you,' her inner voice said.

"I know," Quinn said back to the voice.

'This is your fault,'

"I know,"

'You really should do the world a favour Quinn and leave too, you've been of no help to anyone,'

Quinn paused as she looked at herself in the mirror, "No, I won't do that, because I can be here for someone, I can be here for Rachel, I will be here for Rachel, she will fight this and she will win, and I will be there with her all the way,"

'But why? It's not like you like her, let alone love her,'

"Maybe so, but it is a start, isn't it? And for the record I do like her, I'm just a really shitty human being who can't seem to do anything right, but I can now and I will do it now," Quinn said as she pushed those thoughts away.

'And what if she doesn't want your help? Hmm? What if she reminds you of how shitty of a person you are?'

"Then I will be there for her until she's well enough to push me away, and even then, I will still be looking out for her," Quinn said to her inner voice determinedly as she cleaned and dried her hands and arms and walked out of the bathroom and back to Brittany.

"Hey Q," Brittany said, "Our Moms have both said that they will be on their way with a spare change of clothes as soon as they can be,"

"Good," Quinn said as she sat down, "Anyone comment on her message?"

Brittany paused for a moment before nodding her head, "Most people think she's faking it though,"

"Did you post anything?"

"No, are you going to?"

"No, let them think she's dead, she can tell them she's alive in her own time,"

"You sure that's an okay thing to do?"

"If those people couldn't support her in death, they sure as hell wouldn't support her in life, they don't have a right to know anything about her,"

"What about the Glee Club?"

"They don't need to know either,"

"What about Sanny?"

"S doesn't give a shit about people unless it's herself and you know this,"

Brittany sighed at that as she nodded her head and closed up her phone.

"Thanks for coming with B," Quinn said quietly as she looked up at the clock again.

"Anything for a friend Q," Brittany said.

-page break-

As the two were still sitting in the hospital waiting room. The rest of Rachel's peers began to see her message, and those who thought that they knew Rachel Berry were all sitting and gaping at their computer screens or cellphones. They couldn't believe it, no, they didn't want to believe. And while a few decided to continue to be cruel and tell Rachel that she'd done a good job offing herself, others just couldn't say anything. It was the defeat in her eyes that scared them. That brokenness, that pain. It was something they had never realised before and the guilt of what they had done was slowly eating them up.

Puck had thrown his phone hard against the wall, cracking the screen, as he dashed to his truck and drove to Rachel's place only to see it deserted and empty.

He saw the kitchen through one of the windows and nearly hurled when he saw the blood on the ground. But no Rachel. He managed to break in to the house through the back door and raced from one room to another, but Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

He ran out of the house in confusion and worry, his face that seldom showed any emotion was starting to get tearful.

"You find her?" Santana asked as she and the rest of New Directions pulled up to the Berry's house, including Mr Schuester.

"The fuck you all care?" Puck spat at them making everyone flinch.

"We just,"

"You just what? Huh? Feel guilty now, well good, we should all feel guilty and I hope this fucking guilt eats us all up,"

"Puck," Mr Schuester started.

"Oh don't Puck me, you're the worse of them all, you're our teacher, did it make you feel like a big man to step on someone so small? Huh?"

"Now don't..."

"Talk to you like that, yeah, I know, just go away, all of you, Rachel's not in there," Puck said as he walked to the truck, "But I think she did the job, there was blood all over the kitchen floor, congratulations, we bullied someone to death, I hope we all feel proud about of ourselves,"

"Hey, it's not like we made her do it," Mercedes started.

"Yeah, you keep lying to yourself about that if that can help you sleep, but I know that you know deep down that we all drove her to it, we are all to blame, we helped kill someone, and that is a truth that will never go away," And as he said that and drove away, the rest of New Directions felt sick.

* * *

Back at the hospital Quinn was still sat in her chair as Brittany had disappeared to get her something to eat and drink. The pair had been there for a few hours. Ignoring any calls or texts from their friends.

Neither of their Moms were there just yet as they were trying to get away from work before heading home and grabbing some clothes for their daughters and then going to the hospital. Not that Quinn cared about anyone but Rachel at this particular moment as she continued waiting and started staring at the clock that was slowly ticking by.

She was worried. Very worried. When they had come in Rachel had medically died twice. And right now they were stitching her up after they managed to get her stable after all the blood loss. Quinn looked at her now clean hands and cursed herself. She hoped that the image of the blood never went away so that she'd forever be reminded of what she had done, of what she had contributed to, of what she could have stopped but didn't.

"Quinn Fabray?" a voice said making the cheerleader look up.

"Yes, that's me," Quinn said as she stood up and walked up to the doctor, "How is she?"

"As well as anyone in her situation can be, she's in restraints at the moment as we don't want her to try anything when no one's around, but she keeps muttering your name, would you like to see her?" the doctor asked.

"Is there anything I need to know or can know?"

"Unfortunately as you are not her emergency contact or her family, I can't tell you,"

"I understand, um, which way is she?"

The Doctor pointed out Rachel's room as Quinn let out a breath before asking, "Can you please let Brittany, she's the other girl who came with me, please let her know where I am, and our Moms, they're on their way in, just um, let them know where I am so that they don't worry,"

The Doctor nodded his head as Quinn let out a breathe again and walked into Rachel's hospital room.

"Rachel?" she said softly as she knocked on the door and walked in.

"This must be hilarious to you Quinn," Rachel shot out quickly.

"No, it's not hilarious, it's not even funny," Quinn said as she reached out to touch the brunette's face but wasn't surprised when Rachel flinched away from her a bit.

"Why'd you save me? I didn't want to be saved, I had it all worked out in my head, no one wants me here, it's better that I leave,"

"I know, I heard you say that to yourself in the auditorium yesterday,"

"You what?"

"I was really worried about you, and I, I should've said something sooner to someone but I wanted to be sure,"

"It wouldn't have matter anyway,"

Quinn was quiet for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry that your birthday didn't turn out well today,"

Rachel just looked at her with an almost sarcastic look written across her features, like she didn't believe her words at all.

"I really am," Quinn finished as she placed a hand on Rachel's.

Rachel just kept looking at her. Features unchanged.

"If you're okay with it Rachel, I want to be here for you," Quinn said.

"For what?" Rachel asked.

"I want to be there for you as you recover from this, I want to be there for you as a friend and to tell you that someone does care, that someone wants you here to stay,"

"Why bother Quinn?"

"Because you do matter, and I want you to know that, and one day you will look back on this day and see how far you've come along,"

"I don't trust you,"

"And I don't want you to,"

"Huh?"

"I don't expect you to trust me straight away, not after what I've done, I want to build that trust in you and I want you to see that I'm being genuine about it, and maybe in time, I hope you will come to forgive me for what I have done,"

"Why do you even care now Quinn?"

"I don't know Rachel, I don't know why now, I just know that it has to be now,"

"Hmmm, I suppose that'll do, but I haven't forgive you yet,"

"And I don't expect you to, not until you're ready to forgive me,"

"May I come in?" the Doctor asked interrupting the two, "So Rachel, are you feeling better?"

"No," Rachel answered, "I was hoping to be in the ground by now, dead,"

"I see, well, if your friend could wait outside I'd like to discuss something with you,"

"It's fine, she can stay, and let me guess, my fathers can't come in because they're away on business and won't be able to fly in, my 'mother' is uncontactable but even if you could contact her she has no obligation to be here, oh, and since I'm basically looking after myself you recommend I check into a Psychiatric Institution because apparently there is a reason I still need to be alive," Rachel said bluntly as she looked at him.

"That is a suggestion I do have, we want to help you get better Rachel, we want to help you defeat your demons,"

"What for?"

"Rachel," Quinn said softly as she patted the brunette's hand, "Please say you'll at least try, and remember that even if no one else will be there for you, I promise that I will be, to the best of my ability,"

"Fine, I can try,"

"That's all I can ask,"

-page break-

As the doctors decided to assess Rachel's situation more, Quinn was asked to leave the room. So after she promised Rachel that she'd just be outside, she walked out of the room and sat back on the chair.

"Quinn," her mother said as she sat down next to her daughter and looked at her.

"Mommy I'm a terrible person," was all Quinn could say as she sobbed into her mother's arms.

"Oh Quinnie," Judy said as she patted her daughter's head.

"Is Rachel going to be okay?" Brittany asked as her mother had her in her arms too.

"I don't know," Quinn said through her tears, "I hope so,"

"Me too," was all Brittany said as her phone went off, "Oh, it's S again, what should I say?"

"Nothing, just ignore her," Quinn said as she pulled away from her Mother and sat up straight before taking the clothes that her Mom had brought for her and saying, "I'm uh, I'm just going to get changed and I'm going to think about some things,"

"I'll come too and get changed," Brittany said as she decided to follow Quinn too and took the clothes her mother had given her.

As the two made their way to the bathroom, Quinn looked at herself angrily in the mirror.

"Q, you did what you could, there's no point being angry at the past," Brittany said.

"No, but it won't stop me from being angry at myself, Rachel died, she died Brittany, and if we hadn't gotten there in time she would have stayed dead," Quinn said.

"I know, but she's alive now,"

"What are we going to do B?"

"We are going to be there for her in whatever way we can, this won't be easy, not in the slightest, she's going to battle these demons for the rest of her life, but we're going to be there for her anyway, and we're going to be there to help her through it because that's what we should do as her friends and as her family,"

"And what if she doesn't want us as her friends or her family?"

"We be there for anyway,"

Quinn gave a small smile at that and nodded in agreement.

* * *

In the end Rachel decided that she'd go into Psychiatric Care and when she felt that she was better she was going to leave McKinley High School and go elsewhere to finish her education.

Quinn was there with her the whole way through her recovery, visiting her, talking with her, and in time the brunette grew to trust the blonde as she was on the road to recovery over the next few months.

"So, what's happening in the outside world now?" Rachel asked during one of the visiting hours that Quinn was there for, as she soon began setting up the chess board to play. The two had picked up a habit of playing chess against each other with every visit.

"Well, my new school has been incredibly awesome, the cheer coach isn't a maniac, she's actually really supportive, the kids are awesome to be around and drama is a lot lower than what we have at McKinley," Quinn said as she moved one of her pawns forward a space, "Well, minus the girl who keeps accusing me of stealing her boyfriend,"

"You have a boyfriend now?"

"No way, I don't have time for one,"

"Well, if he's cute and stuff right?"

"Nah, I've got my education to worry about, I'd rather worry about that, besides, I want to figure myself out before I try and be with anyone on that level again,"

"I see, so, how's Brittany? I haven't seen her in the last month,"

"She's doing well, busy as the new Head Cheerleader though, she told me to tell you that she's trying to come and see you but since Sue was fired, well, she's been trying to pick up everything in order to help the new coach out,"

"What about Santana?"

"Santana's been transferred to a different school, I don't keep in contact with her so I have no idea as to what she's doing, Finn's now in military school, as for the others, they're still at McKinley, apart from Karofsky, apparently he felt so guilty that his Dad had to transfer him out, oh, and Azimio just up and left and went to Carmel, Figgins has left too,"

"I see,"

"Brittany and I meet up every Sunday after I finish church, she tells me that Schue has now been officially fired too, and the students who wrote really shitty things on your video have all been suspended, finally,"

"Oh? I'm surprised Schue's been fired,"

"I'm not, he was a lousy teacher, he never stood up for you, he only belittled you, he let others bully you, hell, when the rest of us were being hurt in the hallways he stepped in, but when it was you, nope, nothing, he deserves his fate, in fact he's not allowed to teach anymore due to his lousy attitude, Brittany and I came clean to the board about it, last I heard he's stuck in a dead end job as an accountant, serves him right,"

"Hmmm, what about the Glee Club?"

"Gone, I mean without you there's no point, you're the glue that held people together no matter what people think, you were the one who sorted everything out, Schue was just the adult who took credit for your hard work and was as much of a man child as his golden boy,"

"Hmmm,"

As Rachel looked at her pieces and tried to figure out another piece of strategy to beat Quinn at the game, Quinn spoke up again, "None of the New Directions know that you're still alive by the way, Brittany and I still haven't told them, though a few of them may have a hunch since your house is still there,"

"I don't care if they ever find out or not, to be honest I don't want to see any of them anyway, just you and Brittany," Rachel said as she finally moved her Queen two spaces to the left.

"I figured, oh dammit,"

"Check mate,"

"You suck,"

"Nope, I blow, pretty well actually,"

Quinn just gaped at Rachel while turning a bit red as Rachel gave her a small laugh.

That laugh was the greatest sound that Quinn had heard in a very long time.

"Oh Quinn, your face," Rachel laughed.

"You, you're laughing," Quinn laughed along with her.

Rachel just nodded her head at that as she smiled.

"And you're smiling," Quinn smiled too.

"You are being Captain Obvious today huh?!" Rachel said as she and Quinn set up the pieces for another match of chess.

"I'm just happy that you're starting to feel better,"

"I am, I mean there are still times when the depression hits me hard, I know that that's never going to go away, but I have steps to try and make it better,"

"Just remember that when you're back at school again, all you have to do is call me when something hits you hard, okay?!"

"Yeah, I know, thank you Quinn,"

"No problems, ...so, you know where you're going to go once you're out of here?"

"I'm thinking of having a personal tutor come in, it means I can be at home and just away from everyone, and if my Dads are there cool, if not, I don't care anymore,"

"You sure that's wise?"

"No, but it makes me feel better to be home schooled, I don't want to be anywhere where they might pressure me to do something that I really don't want to,"

"I'll come visit you when I'm not at club activities, oh, and my Mom says you have to come to dinner at least once a week, she's been practising her Vegan Culinary skills,"

"Really?"

"Yep," Quinn said as she moved another of her chess pieces, "I must say some of those dishes are actually, really good,"

Rachel smiled again before saying, "See, I do have great ideas,"

"Yeah, that you do,"

"Including this one, check mate,"

"God dammit Berry,"

* * *

When it was time for Rachel to leave the ward, Quinn was the first one to greet her at the front doors of the institution with a smile and a hug.

When Rachel started to feel down again, Quinn was the first number she called and the blonde would come over to see her to just hold her in the silence as the brunette sobbed and cried.

When Judy Fabray approached her about coming to live in the house with her and Quinn, Rachel had cried, and Quinn was there supporting her. Rachel accepted, and lived the rest of her High School time at the Fabray house and having her home schooling tutor come there instead.

When Rachel watched as what used to be her family home get sold and the money went to her, as per her fathers wishes, Quinn was there to give her some support. Along with Brittany who made it a mission to be there that particular day so that the three could watch Disney movies and eat junk food.

When Rachel was rejected from NYADA, Quinn was there to hold her and keep her company at home while they watched a silly movie and ate ice cream together.

And when Rachel got into Julliard instead, Quinn and Brittany were there to celebrate with her.

By the time the two were in New York and New Haven respectively and were visiting each other in New York City, Rachel finally told Quinn that she forgave her, Quinn cried and gave her a kiss.

And while her fathers still weren't really around, and that hurt, Rachel had Judy who would come and see her every so often when she was up visiting Quinn. So the hurt wasn't as bad as it was before. Shelby was sort of there, but not fully and that hurt. But Rachel had Quinn, and some new friends at Julliard, so it didn't hurt too much.

But when the demon voice came back at her when she was turned down for a role because she apparently didn't look right, she felt the pull of the knife again. But this time she had someone, she had Quinn.

And the blonde would always be there for her, holding her as the demon tried to torment her.

'You will never be good enough,' it said to her.

"Don't think that Rachel, you are good enough, this door has closed but there'll always be another one," Quinn would say to her as she patted her back, "Remember, Meryl Streep was turned down for King Kong because they said she didn't look the part and look at her now, that's you Rachel, you will be famous and those guys who turned you down will regret that they did,"

'She's lying to you, she only wants to prolong your suffering, you know she's lying,' the voice said.

"Rachel, you know I'm not lying to you, I'm telling you the truth, I have faith in you and I love you," Quinn would say as the brunette would feel Quinn hold her tight.

'She's lying to you, she doesn't love you, no one could ever love you,'

"No, you're lying," Rachel muttered softly against Quinn's chest.

"Rachel?" Quinn started.

"I know you love me Quinn, I love you too," Rachel would say as the demon voice would fade again, "I know you're not lying to me, the voice is lying to me,"

"Yes, that voice is lying to you, I love you and I want you,"

"And I want you too, Quinn Fabray," Rachel smiled.

And with that smile and that hope, Rachel would try again for another role and another audition.

So if you were to ask Rachel Berry where she saw herself in the future, she never would have guessed that she'd be a spokesperson for Depression and Suicide Prevention, she never would have guessed that her dreams would come true and that she would win her first ever Tony award while having a good career on Broadway with a couple of movies on the side, she certainly never would have been able to tell you that she would be lying in a round spacious bamboo swing hammock next to Quinn Fabray as the two shared a home and life together in New York City.

No, there were a lot of things that Rachel couldn't tell you about where her future would take her. What she did know though is that sometimes things would hurt and the demon would try and win. It very nearly succeeded once, but Quinn was there in time to stop her. Yes, she could tell you that things would still hurt, but now she wasn't alone anymore.

 **The End.**

* * *

Thank you to everyone who read this story from beginning to end. I hope you enjoyed my little two-shot. Thank you also to those who reviewed, I do appreciate it, and it's nice for me to see people react to my work. But if you did not leave a review, I also thank you for just reading the tale and giving it a chance. The fact that the story was read is also enough for me.

If anything in this tale did trigger you, please remember that there are people who are there to talk, such as counsellors. And if any of you do feel like you're in the dark (which I have been many times before), please realise that you are not as alone as you think. There are people who do care, even if you don't feel it at the time.

Again, thank you everyone. Until the next story.

Kind Regards,  
Dante Andy Anderson


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